OK-ay

It's been a while since I've written much on here and I have a few minutes before the rest of the house is awake so here I sit coffee in hand.

Our family is moving to Oklahoma for an amazing job offer and opportunity Kris received from his company. I am so proud of him. He has worked hard for this, for us. And, it's a big responsibility he'll have over there so I pray for him about that but I know he can do it.

We knew this was a possibility about 8 months ago. But nothing had been formally discussed with Kris. We entertained the idea briefly and then forgot about it and carried on with our house plans. We have been gearing up for a move for the last year. Never did I realize it would be a move to OK. Although, so many doors kept shutting as we were trying to put down some new roots in this area. We fell in love with one house, something so different then what we had been thinking we wanted, almost put an offer until we decided to pursue custom home building, only to not get approved for the construction loan.

Oddly, while I was a tad disappointed about the way things were working out, I felt at peace with God's plans for our next move. For the first time I wasn't sure what we were going to do as far as a house goes but I knew it would work out the way it was meant to. Literally, the next week talks of OK started swirling and within 4 or 5 days we had a written offer in hand.

We kept saying we wanted to see the area before accepting it, and we still do. Our plans to visit this past weekend were derailed by tornadoes. Lovely. I only have to laugh b/c it's something I'll just have to get used to. We are now going this weekend, over our 7 year anniversary weekend. But, we pretty much know we are going regardless of what we think about the area. I could never look my husband in the eye and tell him no to this. It's time to put my big girl britches on.

This is huge for me. Huge. I'm sort of a baby, still. Even though I have 3 kids, I'm a big baby in my own right. I know God is going to use this chapter to catapult me into real adulthood. This will be the first time Kris and I have had to truly depend on just each other, no friends, no family, just us. I hear this sort of thing really grows you as a person and as a married couple. Truth be told, I'm a little excited. Kris and I keep telling each other "it's an adventure we are going on together."

It's oh so evident God has everything to do with this opportunity. I could go on and on about all the things that make it evident but it would take forever. And, I feel so undeserving. I'm not the best Christian. Actually, I suck at it! I get easily turned off by other Christians. I question things a lot. I put a guard up and sometimes don't want to go to church. The abstract-ness of it all really challenges me. My head doubts. My heart knows. But, I keep praying. I keep at it b/c truth be told, life feels a little hopeless without Him. I feel empty w/o any sort of beliefs in place. And, there God is, still faithful to us, to me, even when I suck at being a child of His.

Since our plans to visit the area were cancelled, we went about our regularly scheduled weekend and let me tell you, I needed this weekend. It was a perfect weekend in Texas. And, honestly, it makes it that much harder to leave. While I'm excited, my heart is heavy. Oddly, I'm doing better then expected.I consider myself to be weak, weak, weak. Like I said, a big baby. Of course today is a hard day, after having the best weekend, and it hit me last night in bed as Kris and I were talking and the tears streamed down my face as I thought of everything I was leaving. One of the biggest things being my Mom!

Watching Hayden play soccer Saturday morning was the best time. We are playing through a different league then the Y and we LOVE it! Such a better experience and with Hayden being a little older, he is doing so much better. What a difference a few years makes in their maturity level. Watching him out there on a windy, Texas day with the cheers of my husband in my ear was true bliss.

Later that day I got to finish my newborn shoot with the most knowledgeable person about OKC, the Dad's hometown. (<----- God I tell ya). I love taking pictures, it's so fun for me! Saturday evening our neighbors Bill & Sarah and her Dad and their son Willie were over for dinner. The guys cooked while the kids played.

Sunday I had an old friend's wedding shower and got to see some old high school friends that I've gotten to see a bit lately which has been so nice! And to end a great weekned, Sunday evening we met with our wonderful home team.

Again, another God thing. When Kris and I inquired about joining a home group again we were asked to lead. This isn't exactly what we had in mind and we didn't feel ready for this, especially me. I'm just not there in my faith yet but felt if this is what God wanted then there must be a reason. Long story short, the logistics of the group were taking too long to get worked out and obstacles kept coming up and it was that much longer that we weren't getting plugged in. Finally, she asked if we wanted to ditch the new group and join one! Yes we said! Huge sigh of relief. I see now why we weren't leaders.

Needless to say, we love our new group. I've much enjoyed seeing my old high school girlfriends and the memories of my youth flood me and I so enjoy the familiar feeling of being around them. We have made so many new, great friends in our neighborhood. My MOMS group. A great church. Our great friends. My Mom just bought a house in Old Katy. The list goes on. And, this is all getting cut short. It's clear we are leaving a lot behind.

It's not easy at all, but as my Proverbs 31 email talked about this morning, I hear God saying "come to me" like Jesus said to Peter when he was walking on water.

And we are saying to Him, "OK-AY!"